I talk a lot about mindset when it comes to personal and professional growth, but today I want to share a confidence hack that’s way more practical than “just think positive.” It’s not about pretending. It’s about something real: what you can do.
If you’ve ever struggled to maintain your confidence, you might be overlooking a big part of the equation: confidence isn’t just a mindset. Confidence is also a skill set.
Confidence is Influenced by Competence
The best way to boost your self-belief is to demonstrate your ability. As I’ve said on the Life Fulfilled Podcast, confidence is directly influenced by competence.
And the good news is that you’re already competent at something.
The key to authentic confidence isn’t “fake it till you make it.” It’s finding the stuff you already do well, whether at work or elsewhere, and doubling down on it.
How to Turn Competence into Confidence (in 3 Steps)
Step 1: Discover Your Strengths
If you’re unsure what you’re truly good at, ask around. You’ll probably be surprised by what others notice that you might take for granted.
Here’s a great way to start the conversation: offer to tell a friend or colleague what you see as their strengths. Be specific. Tell them how they use their skills, and maybe even suggest other ways they could use them. Don’t be overly suggestive to avoid coming across as condescending.
Then flip it around. Ask them to do the same for you.
Don’t limit this to one person. The more people you ask, the more patterns you’ll start to see. If three people tell you you’re a great communicator, that’s a clue worth paying attention to.
Step 2: Double Down on What You Do Best
Once you’ve identified your skills, double down on them.
But here’s the twist: if you don’t like the skill you’re good at, dig deeper. There may be a misalignment between your values and your day-to-day work. This is where a values alignment exercise comes in handy.
Let’s say you’re great at communication. You can break down complex topics and deliver the “why” behind anything. But if your ideal day involves quietly crunching numbers in a spreadsheet, that disconnect can erode your confidence over time.
Realigning your skills with your values will help you feel less friction and more fulfillment. And from that place your confidence blooms. Get my values & alignment guide to help you figure this out.
Step 3: Amplify What You Do Best
This is where many people freeze. Many think, “I don’t want to sound self-promotional,” or “Who am I to talk about this stuff?”
But here’s the deal: sharing your skills isn’t vanity, it’s value. My friend Michelle B. Griffin says this best:
“Visibility is not vanity. Visibility is value.”
When you put yourself out there, you’re helping people. And the bonus is that you build confidence just by showing up.
Here are a few simple ways to amplify your skills:
- Write about what you know.
- Record short videos.
- Mentor someone in your field.
- Volunteer your expertise.
- Join a project outside your comfort zone.
These actions aren’t just about being seen; they help you reinforce your strengths. The more you do that, the stronger your confidence becomes.
Final Thought
Remember: competence builds confidence. The more you recognize and use your skills and let others benefit from them, the more naturally your confidence grows.
So go find your thing. Hone it. Share it.
Confidence will follow, and so will fulfillment.
Image source: Freepik
