Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
A study published by Harvard Business Publishing Corporate Learning notes that only around 10 to 15% of people are sufficiently self. Aware. Operative word, they’re sufficiently self aware. And there is less than a 30% correlation between people’s actual and self perceived competence. Additionally, there’s a lack of self awareness among leaders. There’s that negatively impacts decision making, collaboration and conflict management. Hey, welcome to the Life Fulfilled podcast. I’m Bernie Borges, your fulfillment architect.
Bernie Borges [00:00:38]:
Hey, if this is your first time tuning in, welcome. I hope that you’ll subscribe because I’m here to help you unlock a more fulfilling life at work and anywhere else that you want to experience fulfillment. Now, by the end of this episode, I want to give you a clear understanding of how to become a more self aware leader, whether it’s at work, at home, or in your community. I’ll walk you through a simple and powerful framework that I developed out of necessity when I was struggling with my own self awareness. Now, I’ve documented this process and I make it available to leaders for free. It’s called the Values and Fulfillment Alignment Guide. I created it to help leaders like you and me build authentic alignment in our lives and in our leadership responsibility. So if you’re a leader at work, this episode is for you.
Bernie Borges [00:01:30]:
And also if you’re not a leader at work, but you’re a leader at home, or maybe the local Little League or local Rotary or chamber of Commerce or church or any other organization, this episode is also for you. In this episode, I’m going to help you understand what why self awareness is crucial in leadership. Why self awareness is hard. My personal journey with self awareness. My journey that led to building or creating the Values in Fulfillment Alignment Guide. And then I’m going to walk you through the five steps in the guide and what I gained from this exercise. And then my invitation to you is to experience this journey yourself with the Values and Fulfillment Alignment Guide. So let’s begin with why self awareness is crucial in leadership.
Bernie Borges [00:02:20]:
You know, the premise is that fulfilled leaders create fulfilled teams and that fulfilled teams do their best work because they want to, because they care. They’re engaged. Self awareness isn’t something though, that is taught to us in school. In fact, it’s usually associated with advanced psychology, like something only a degreed psychologist could even teach. But when you realize that being a self aware leader in any setting is a strategic advantage, well, that alone should be enough motivation to become more self. Aware. At least to be to want to become more self aware. Remember the stat that I shared with you.
Bernie Borges [00:03:02]:
No more than 15% of all people walking this earth are sufficiently self aware. That’s a stark insight. When I first read that, I was kind of blown away. Said another way, 85% of leaders are not sufficiently self aware. This puts leaders at a Disadvantage on day one. Now, you don’t need a PhD in psychology to know that when you understand your values and how they align with how you’re living your life, you start leading with clarity and confidence. You’re able to listen differently. You can make decisions more intentionally.
Bernie Borges [00:03:40]:
You create psychological safety in your team because you’re leading from a place of integrity and clarity. The truth is that most of us think we’re self. Aware. But research shows that only 10 to 15% actually are. And in the workplace or the community, that gap shows up as disengagement, miscommunication, and just flat out ineffective leadership. So why is self awareness hard? Self awareness is hard because it requires self reflection in a very noisy world. And I suggest that this self reflection should have at least a little bit of structure. You can’t just wing self reflection and expect to figure out where you’re aligned with your values and where you’re not.
Bernie Borges [00:04:30]:
It turns out that traditional leadership training skips this step. It doesn’t go deep on self awareness. Instead, it focuses on process to drive results. So let me share my personal journey towards self awareness. Let me tell you a quick story. A few years ago, I was performing well by traditional measures. My career was going well, my family life was great. My health was mostly going well.
Bernie Borges [00:04:59]:
But I felt something was off. I didn’t know what it was and I actually didn’t even want to admit it because I felt guilty about it. I felt that I had no right to complain. But I knew that I was out of sync somewhere. That’s when I started doing some deep reflection. And here’s how I did it. First, I asked myself, how am I fulfilled across my entire life? This is when I organize my life into the five pillars. Health, fitness, career, relationships and legacy.
Bernie Borges [00:05:33]:
These are high level and all encompassing peers. Across my entire life, I literally scored my fulfillment in each of these pillars. Then I did the same with my values. And that’s when the clarity light bulbs went off. Now, I’m going to come back to that here in just a minute. First, I want to emphasize that the awareness that I gained from this exercise changed everything. I mean everything. It gave me a compass.
Bernie Borges [00:06:02]:
A compass that I needed to course correct my leadership both at work and outside of work. I started making small shifts, having more intentional conversations and I gained more alignment between my values and my reality. In short, I became a better leader. And the best part is that it spilled over into my marriage, my relationships with my adult kids, my faith journey, and my friendships. In other words, this exercise was life changing and I didn’t have to spend months and thousands of dollars with a therapist. And hey, I mean no disrespect to therapists. I’m simply sharing my my story. So this is why I created the guide.
Bernie Borges [00:06:52]:
Because the journey that I just described, that I went through was so meaningful that I wrote it down. And I’ve been told that I should write a book on it. And I might end up doing that. But in some ways, I already have written a short book. I call it the Values and Fulfillment Alignment Guide and I give it away for free. It’s a PDF. This guide reflects the steps that I took to gain clarity on my journey to being a more effective leader, both in and outside of work. Now, I use this guide in leadership workshops that I facilitate as well as coaching sessions and mastermind groups.
Bernie Borges [00:07:29]:
And the impact is consistent. Leaders typically experience breakthrough insights in about an hour, sometimes less. So. I want to walk you through the five steps in the Values and Fulfillment Alignment Guide. Step 1. You rate your fulfillment in the five key areas of life. Health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. Just like I did, you rate each pillar from one to five, with five being the highest score.
Bernie Borges [00:07:57]:
This gives you a snapshot of where you feel strong and where you might feel off. Step two is to identify your five to 10 top values. Think words like growth, integrity, connection, creativity, family, faith, community. These are the principles that guide your calendar and your decisions. Step three, you rate how aligned your current life is with each of those values. Not perfectly, just honestly. Step four, you reflect. Where are you most aligned? Where are you most out of sync? What’s one insight that you didn’t see before? This is where you’re most likely to have a big clarity moment.
Bernie Borges [00:08:42]:
I know I did. And step five, you commit to one action. What’s one small change that will bring you closer to alignment? Write it down and commit to it. This whole process can take 15 or 30 minutes, but the clarity you gain can shift how you show up for the rest of your life if you allow it to. Now I want to talk about what I’ve gained through this exercise. Through this practice, I have become a better leader, a better partner, a better friend, hopefully a better husband. In all my relationships, I listen more deeply, more intentionally. I lead with more effort, empathy, and I trust my instincts more because I understand what drives them.
Bernie Borges [00:09:30]:
The exercise of value alignment with fulfillment was truly game changing. And I hate using this cliche, but that’s what it was for me. Gamechanging. Any leader can experience the same when you do this work, it’s contagious. Your team sees it, your family sees it, even your friends see it. So here’s my invitation to you. Get your own copy of the Values and Fulfillment Alignment Guide. Carve out a few minutes this week just for you.
Bernie Borges [00:10:03]:
It’s a private exercise. There’s no judgment, no performance review, just quiet reflection. After you go through this exercise, consider doing this with one of your direct reports or maybe a family member. You don’t need to solve their problems, just start a self awareness conversation. Remember, 85% of us are not sufficiently self aware. So the odds are in your favor that this exercise will result in one or more meaningful insights for you and for those you lead, whether it’s in or outside of work. Hey, if you want to explore this for your team in your workplace, get in touch with me to discuss workshop and and mastermind options. In the meantime, I invite you to explore the Values and Fulfillment Guide.
Bernie Borges [00:10:52]:
It’s free, it’s available, and it’s waiting for you in the show. Notes for this Episode Remember, alignment creates clarity, clarity unlocks fulfillment, and fulfilled leaders fuel high performing cultures both inside and outside the workplace. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of the Life Fulfilled podcast. If you enjoyed it, please hit the like button and subscribe. I’m Bernie Borges, your host and your fulfillment architect. Stay fulfilled and I’ll catch you on the next episode.
