Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
You got the title, you built the team. You did everything you were supposed to do. And now you’re exhausted. You feel disconnected. Maybe you’re running on empty and there’s a voice in your head that’s asking a question that you’re almost afraid to answer. Why do I feel this way? If that sounds familiar, you’ve probably told yourself that you’re both burned out. Maybe your doctor said it, maybe your spouse said it. Maybe you Google the symptoms and you check every box.
Bernie Borges [00:00:37]:
But here’s what nobody’s telling you. What you’re feeling might not be burnout at all. It might be something deeper, something that sleep and a vacation can’t fix. Hey, I’m Bernie Borges, CEO Fulfilled at Work Academy. And if you’re new to my channel, welcome. Stay with me for the next few minutes because I’m going to give you a practical reframe that changes everything. And one thing that you can do today to start feeling like yourself again. Here’s what you and I have been told about burnout.
Bernie Borges [00:01:19]:
We work too many hours, we don’t get enough rest, and eventually we hit a wall. And the prescription that we’re given is always the same. Slow down, set boundaries, take a break. And look, that advice may not be wrong for you, but for a lot of leaders, it’s incomplete. Because you can take the vacation, you can close the laptop at 6pm you can sleep eight hours at night and still wake up feeling hollow. Why? Because the problem isn’t your schedule, it’s your meaning. Now, I’m not a mind reader, but there’s a good chance that you’re wondering what I even mean by that. So here’s some context.
Bernie Borges [00:02:08]:
The World Health Organization defines burnout as chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been managed. It has three dimensions. Exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced effectiveness. Notice what’s not in that definition. Purpose, meaning fulfillment. The sense that what you’re doing actually matters. Research from Deloitte published just last year, found that cognitive strain and decision fatigue, not workload, are now the leading drivers of what we call burnout. Leaders are mentally exhausted, not because they’re doing too much work, but because so much of what they’re doing feels disconnected from why they got into leadership in the first place.
Bernie Borges [00:03:02]:
That’s not burnout. That’s an unfulfillment crisis. And it requires a completely different response. Quick story. I remember a period of my own leadership journey where I looked like I had it all together from the outside. I was a co founder in a startup. We had quickly built A brand. We won some reputable accounts, got to speak on some meaningful stages, got enviable, earned media coverage.
Bernie Borges [00:03:34]:
So on the outside, we were crushing it as a team. And look, the co founder Halo effect was on full display. And I admit I allowed it to mask what I was really feeling. But on the inside, I was really just going through the motions. Yeah, I was getting things done, but I wasn’t inspired. I wasn’t energized. And the hardest part was I couldn’t explain why. I mean, there was nothing technically wrong.
Bernie Borges [00:04:07]:
I started giving it labels like stress and tiredness, endless ambition. Eventually, I called it burnout, because that’s the word that just seemed to fit. But when I got honest with myself, it wasn’t that. I eventually came to understand and importantly admit to myself that I lacked purpose. My heart just wasn’t in it. I thought the optics and the material benefits would keep me going. But I finally confessed to myself the truth. I lacked purpose.
Bernie Borges [00:04:48]:
I wasn’t fulfilled. And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t burned out from too much work. I was drained because the work that I was doing didn’t feed something that I needed. I needed to experience fulfillment. Now, look, I didn’t call it that at the time, but that’s what it was. And without fulfillment, success at any level feels empty. So how do you know which one you’re dealing with? Are you really burned out or are you unfulfilled? Here’s a simple distinction that I use with the leaders that I coach. Burnout is physical and emotional depletion that’s caused by sustained stress.
Bernie Borges [00:05:38]:
Rest and recovery definitely help when you’re burned out, you take time off, you come back and you’ve refilled the tank. That’s a real thing. But unfulfillment is different. It’s a disconnect between the work you’re doing and your values, your strengths, and a sense of purpose that define who you are at this point in your life. You see, your values evolve over time. And they may not be the same as when you started this journey, but if you’re on the same track and you’re running 150 miles an hour with yesterday’s values, you will eventually hit a wall. And that wall is truth about who you are today. It’s not burnout.
Bernie Borges [00:06:27]:
Rest isn’t going to fix it. You can come back from vacation fully rested and still feel that same emptiness by Tuesday morning. So ask yourself this question and really sit with it. If I wasn’t so tired, would I love this work. If the answer is yes, you probably burned out. Rest and recovery, hey, that’s your path forward. You need that. But if the answer is no or the answer is I don’t know, that’s telling you something important.
Bernie Borges [00:07:02]:
That’s the fulfillment gap that’s speaking to you. Don’t ignore it. And here’s why that distinction matters. Burned out leaders need to rest. Unfulfilled leaders need to reconnect. You see, if you treat an unfulfilled crisis like a burnout problem, you’ll take the vacation and come back to that same empty feeling, the same hollow meetings, that same nagging question, why do I still feel this way? I told you at the top that I was going to give you one thing you don’t need another to do list. You need a compass, not a checklist. So here it is.
Bernie Borges [00:07:45]:
This week, block out some time. Could be five minutes, 30 minutes. You decide. No phone, no agenda, no interruptions, just a blank page. And ask this one question. Just this one question. What did I do this week that felt like the real me? Now, there’s another way you can ask this question. What would I want to do this week that feels like the real me? Either way, you ask this question, write whatever comes to mind.
Bernie Borges [00:08:21]:
Don’t filter it. Don’t judge it. Be honest with yourself. And notice what lights up when you answer that question honestly. Because it’s the signal. And it’s a signal of what you want more of. I am not suggesting that you redesign your career in a week, or even at all. I’m suggesting that you identify the signal, because once you can hear it, you can follow it.
Bernie Borges [00:08:54]:
That’s how you move from why do I feel this way? To the journey to experience fulfillment. Once again, I want to repeat, burnout is real. I am not dismissing it. But I’ve coached more than one or two talented leaders who spent years trying to recover from something that rest was never going to fix. And if you’ve been chasing the wrong diagnosis, that ends today. Because you’re not broken. You’re not weak, and you’re not burned out. You’re unfulfilled.
Bernie Borges [00:09:33]:
And that’s actually good news. Because fulfillment is something that you can rebuild. If you’re a leader and you want to go deeper on this, if you want to figure out exactly where your fulfillment gap is and what to do about it, I offer a limited number of complimentary fulfillment gap calls each month with me personally. No pitch, no pressure. All I ask is that you show up prepared to be honest with yourself. We’ll have a real conversation about where you are and where you want to be. And by the way, I offer this because I have purpose. It fulfills me.
Bernie Borges [00:10:16]:
The link to my complimentary call is in the show Notes for this episode and if this message in this video needs to be heard by someone you know, please share it with them because this conversation is bigger than one person. I’m Bernie Borges, CEO of Fulfilled at Work Academy. If you’re not subscribed to my channel, please click or tap the subscribe button now to catch what’s next. I’ll see you on the next episode.
