Last week I had the privilege of delivering the Fulfillment Centric Leadership™ workshop to a room of about 30 oncologists. Brilliant, dedicated professionals who chose one of the most demanding specialties in medicine. During one of my polling moments, I asked them to rank which of the five FCL pillars was sending them the strongest signal right now.
Relationships won. And it wasn’t close.
That result didn’t surprise me, but it did make me think. Oncologists carry an unusually complex relational load. They’re managing deep emotional connections with patients facing life-altering diagnoses. They’re navigating the dynamics of interdisciplinary clinical teams. They’re supervising staff under significant administrative pressure. And underneath all of it, they’re trying to show up for the people at home who matter most.
That’s not one relationship. That’s a portfolio of relationships, each with its own weight and its own demand for presence.
Here’s what I find that’s noteworthy. The relational strain they named in that room is not unique to oncology. I’ve delivered this framework across different professional audiences, and while the specific pillar that surfaces loudest tends to shift, the pattern is consistent. High performers carry relationships on multiple fronts simultaneously and rarely stop to ask which ones are depleting them.
That’s where self-awareness enters.
During the workshop, self-awareness became one of the most discussed threads. It connects to every pillar because you can’t act on what you haven’t named. We talked about the Harvard Business Publishing research that only about 15% of people are sufficiently self-aware. That number lands hard in a room full of people trained to make precise, high-stakes decisions all day. The idea that most of us are operating with a significant blind spot about our own internal state is uncomfortable, and important.
The Relationships pillar depletion this group named was not a character flaw. It was a signal. That’s exactly how FCL frames it. When a pillar is under strain, that strain is information. It’s pointing somewhere. The question is whether you’re paying attention.
Here’s what I’d offer to any professional reading this: you don’t have to be an oncologist to recognize the relational weight you’re carrying. Think about the relationships in your life right now. Your family. Your team. Your clients or patients. Your peers. Now ask yourself an honest question: which of those feels most out of alignment with who you want to be in it?
That’s the signal worth following.
Once you know which pillar is talking the loudest, you can build a plan. Not a sweeping life overhaul. Just one honest moment of reflection per day. One pillar. One question. That’s how the 30-Day Challenge works, and it’s how self-awareness becomes a practice rather than a concept.
The work starts with noticing. The oncologists in that room did exactly that. Now it’s your turn, if you’re willing to listen.
